This year has been a tough one, yet a productive one. I've been to the police to prosecute SD, I've gone through tough long interviews that brought up so many emotions and left me feeling worse than better, one thing I never thought was that I'd have a witness, but I did, someone who saw the marks, the pain, who listened to my whole story. He was my cousin who agreed to testify against him. But after the case getting to the crown court, they ignored the 6 years of hell, the daily abuse and the controlling adult, they put it down to one incident and classed it as an 'attack'. I was so let down and it didn't help my recovery in the slightest. The fact that a group of adults just shut down a long case of child abuse in an instance as they couldn't see how much he had hurt me, how much he had scarred me for life, and how it affects the way I live. Me and mum have also been through the 3 year process of her divorce from SD, and that was a relief.
The end of college brought A lot of stress to me, Completing everything on time, but I ended up with 2 A's and a B.
And then it got to November... the month before Christmas, and although I really do not want to admit it... I started grieving the loss of our large family. Not the family itself, but more the idea that me and mum were alone when we should be surrounded by a family, it killed me, I couldn't fake my usual smile, and my mum saw through me.
We took an expensive trip to Bents garden centre to look at the trees, we put up all our decorations and I even baked a mass of treats, our homes look beautiful, we've planned Christmas day and going on a Christmas eve run with the running club!
We've sent out our Christmas cards and bought most of our presents and we are taking every day as it comes, keeping a positive light whilst watching the trees twinkle. I'm hoping that this year will end on a high.
Now I'm feeling Christmas-y the idea of wrapping all the presents and putting them under our tree's is making me excited!
Merry Christmas my amazing readers!
Lots of love,
Our pink tree!