The Lucy Eperience

The Lucy Eperience

Monday, 16 December 2013

Control that Temper!

Soon after me and mum were abandoned I had a very hard time controlling my emotions (including my anger) I enjoyed hurting or upsetting people if I thought they were too happy. That sounds horrible, I know, but in my mind I thought if I wasn't allowed to be happy... why should others be? I became very aggressive towards people, I lost some ''friends'' who turned out not to be friends, and made some that stuck by my side no matter what I said. The only way I could cope with my emotions was either to hurt myself, or to hurt others.

I'd grown up being the underdog, the girl in school people didn't like until I lost weight. The geek who worked hard in school, I only ever worked hard so I could get to college and university, I knew if I got to university I could have escaped SD. But this anger that kept growing inside me, it was like a parasite, working its way deeper into my soul, I wasn't me. I wasn't a horrible person, but I was a scared little girl who had been hurt way too many times. And I wasn't willing to let anyone hurt me again.

My first year in college was rocky, I'd go into a rage if someone even looked at me in a funny way, because of this, my counsellor decided to try anger management with me, I felt a bit stupid doing anger management with her, I couldn't see it working... that was until she taught me the 'helicopter view'.

The helicopter view is the use of your imagination to look down on a situation from a birds eye view, like looking down at yourself in a helicopter.

As a creative girl I found this an easy concept, although much difficult in a situation when you just want to punch someone...

She taught me to 'step out of my body' and examine the situation around me, examine what had made me like this, if it was rational, what it would look like from someone else's view, and also what would be the wisest action to take (apparently not punching someone).

I found this an easier exercise for me, although there are many others! take a look at the website below for a full booklet that you can print off and keep so you can fill it in!
 I hope you all found this helpful!
Lots of love,
Luce xxx

                                                        Here is my visualisation work sheet